BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz and I'm Off for a Week!

Important news regarding next week:

I won't be here.

That's right, I'll be letting this blog lie fallow until Monday, April 4th, at which point I will return with regular updates.

As for why I won't be here, I have my reasons, and one of them is that I can't handle yet another year of forced April Fools posts from the cycling media.

Yes, it's a fake press release for a product that's only slightly sillier than the stuff we read about the rest of the year, we get it.

Speaking of silly products, here's your 50 millionth reminder to pre-order my new book while I'm gone:

SPOILER ALERT: Humanity is destroyed by our dependence on fossil fuels and a mutated race of hyper-intelligent lizards reigns supreme.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll win a million dollars (though it will be taxed at a rate of 100% so you will receive a check for $0.00), and if you're wrong you'll see crossing wheels.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and see you back here on April 4th!



--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) What kind of bird is this?

--A common crane
--A great blue heron
--An intermediate egret
--It's not a bird at all, it's a Yonkers water rat

Plantiff(s) voluntarily performed and engaged in the alleged activity and assumed the risk of the injuries and/or damages claimed. Plaintiff(s) failed to use all required, proper, appropriate and reasonable safety devices and/or equipment and failed to take all proper, appropriate and reasonable steps to assure his/her/their safety … Plaintiff(s)’ implied assumption of risk caused or contributed, in whole or in part [sic] to his/her/their injuries.

2) What was Plaintiff(s) doing?

--Cycling without a helmet

--Cycling after dark

--Cycling on the sidewalk

--Walking across the street in broad daylight with the "Walk" signal

(Always use expensive clothing and equipment when fake bike riding.)

3) Fake bike riding computer game Zwift has added:

--A "massive mountain"

--An "epic gravel section"

--A "town line sprint feature"

--A "virtual café" where users can clog the toilet and clomp around with their helmets still on after the ride

(It's back...or is it?)

4) What is "Bimp'Air?"

--A new suspension fork for fat bikes
--A self-refilling compressed air canister that mounts to your bike
--Shimano's new compressed air shifting system
--Like regular air, only 20% lighter

5) It helps to know your rights.

--True
--False

6) Just kidding, you have no rights.

--True
--False

("Oh, oh, oh, Femke's cryin'...")

7) Why is Femke crying?

--Her ban extends to artistic cycling, the discipline to which she had intended to transition
--She's not; the tears belong to her friend who was crying and they accidentally fell on her face
--The food she's eating is spicy
--Even though she was the obvious choice, Specialized did not hire her to help promote their new Playboy e-bike with Sexism Drive™ technology

***Special Unsolicited Safety Advice From A Massive Fred-Themed Bonus Video!***

(Contains NSFW language.)

Oh, go stick it in your ear.